You’re not alone. Writing to someone behind bars can feel overwhelming; there are rules, unknowns, and lots of questions. That’s why having a clear letter writing guide can make things a lot easier.
- Can I send pictures?
- What can I say?
- Will they even get my letter?
Let’s break it down. Because when done right, a simple letter can bring hope, healing and human connection.
Why Writing to an Inmate Matters
Life behind bars can feel isolating. Your letter could be the highlight of someone’s week or even their month. Whether it’s a friend, family member or someone you’re just getting to know, your words can offer comfort, motivation and a reminder that they matter.
But… prison mail isn’t like regular mail. There are strict rules. And one small mistake could get your letter rejected.
So, let’s have a look at the dos and don’ts of sending letters to incarcerated people.
DO: Follow the Prison’s Mail Rules
Every facility has its own guidelines. State, federal and county jails all have different rules about what you can and cannot send.
- Check the prison or jail’s website or call them to confirm the rules.
- Use the inmate’s full name and ID number on the envelope.
- Include your full name and return address (some facilities won’t deliver your letter without it).
Want to know how to send letters to incarcerated people in federal prison?
The Federal Bureau of Prisons has a handy inmate locator and clear mailing instructions.
Not sure what to say or how to start?
We’ve got you. Check out our letter writing guide: How to Write a Letter to Someone in Prison, packed with real tips and ways to make your words truly matter.
DON’T: Send Prohibited Items
Even if your intentions are good, certain things will get your mail rejected or even put the inmate in trouble.
Common prohibited items in inmate mail:
- Staples or paperclips
- Glitter, stickers, or perfume
- Polaroids or explicit images
- Cash or personal checks
- Greeting cards with electronics (like singing cards)
Important Note: Even colored pencils or crayon drawings might not be allowed in some prisons. However, you can send them some fun things that are allowed in prisons.
Need ideas? Here you go: Ideas for fun things to send to an Inmate
DO: Keep It Positive and Encouraging
Inmates face a lot of negativity every day. Your letter should feel like a safe space.
Ask about their day. Share updates from your life. Offer motivation. You don’t need to be perfect, just be real.
Here are a few questions to get the conversation flowing:
- What books are you reading lately?
- What are your thoughts on life after release?
- How are you coping day-to-day?
DON’T: Talk About Illegal Activities
Seems obvious, right? But people slip up, especially when talking about past events.
Avoid:
- Talking about crimes
- Using coded language
- Planning anything that breaks prison rules
Letters are screened by prison staff. Every. Single. One.
DO: Use Plain Paper and Blue or Black Ink
This one’s simple: Stick to the basics.
- Use white or lined paper
- Write in black or blue ink only
- Don’t include any drawings that could be “interpreted.”
Also, don’t forget to number your pages if you’re writing a long letter. That way, if pages get separated during inspection, they’ll know the order.
DON’T: Assume You Can Send Packages for Prisoners
Can you send packages to prisoners? Sometimes, but only approved ones.
Most facilities only allow packages for prisoners through approved vendors like Access Securepak or Union Supply. You can’t just grab a box, toss in snacks and mail it.
Always check with the prison before sending anything beyond a letter.
DO: Respect Their Boundaries and Expectations
Not everyone in prison wants to receive mail, and some prefer to keep it casual. If you’re writing to someone for the first time, maybe through a pen pal program, start slow.
Want to find a pen pal program?
Check out A Way Out Pen Pals
DON’T: Forget About Mailing Restrictions
Some facilities restrict:
- How many letters can inmates receive
- How many pages per letter
- The language used (no profanity or hate speech)
Stay respectful. Keep your message clean and supportive.
Conclusion:
What to Remember Before You Hit Send
Writing to an incarcerated person is about respect and making someone feel human again. Whether it’s your first letter or your fiftieth, every message matters. If you’re unsure, refer back to this letter writing guide to stay on track and make your message count.
Let’s do a quick recap:
The Do’s
- Follow the prison’s mail rules and guidelines
- Keep your message supportive, kind and judgment-free
- Use plain paper and blue or black ink
- Share news, stories or just thoughtful words
- Respect their boundaries and be consistent
The Don’ts
- Don’t include prohibited items like stickers, cash or anything scented
- Avoid discussing illegal topics or using coded language
- Don’t forget that all mail is screened; keep it clean and respectful
- Don’t assume all packages are allowed; always check first
Quick Checklist:
- Full name and inmate ID written clearly
- Correct facility mailing address
- Your return address is on the envelope
- No restricted items included ( paperclips, perfume, etc)
- Positive, respectful tone
- Page numbers (if long)
- Written with care, not rushed
FAQs:
1. Can I email a letter instead?
Some prisons offer services like JPay or CorrLinks, where you can send digital messages. But not all inmates have access.
2. Can I include photos?
Yes, but only a limited number and with rules. No nudity, gang signs, or explicit content.
3. How long does it take for my letter to be delivered?
Anywhere from a few days to a couple of weeks, depending on facility inspections and mail volume.
4. Can inmates write back?
Yes, if they have stamps and paper. Some rely on donations or outside help to stay in touch.
